Seattle buses are generally the best I’ve ever been on1. They run pretty close to on time, they are kept clean2, and they go almost3 everywhere you want to go. Okay, they’re not ideal, and I’m a typical American who grew up driving everywhere and is spoiled beyond belief. But these buses are usually good enough and I’m usually pretty happy to ride them. It’s not like I have any alternative anyway.
That said, today was a ridiculous bus day.
Janelle and I decided that we would go to Five Spot for brunch. We got on the bus, and the driver was a total bitch. She treated riders like they were imbecile children, yelled out the stops in a voice fueled by rage, and then didn’t really announce that her route would be ending before we even climbed the Queen Anne Hill. She kicked us off the stopped bus and told us we were bad at listening.
Cool. We eventually made it to the restaurant, and it was delicious. The whole trip up there made it seem like we were on a pilgrimage for eggs, which I guess we kind of were. The coffee was plentiful, the banana-chocolate-chip coffeecake was as badass as it sounds, and the eggs were divine. On an unrelated note, the businessmen next to us kept talking about what catfish eat, how lutefisk is prepared, and all sorts of disgusting fish names. Like “the slimer.” I think they were just jealous that our food came before theirs and they wanted to ruin our meals. Jerks.
The bus drama wouldn’t be drama if there was just one bitchy driver- that’s just not too unusual.
We got on the bus to go back to downtown, and as we neared our destination, the bus stuttered. It would go for a couple feet, then choke up and do things that seemed like it wanted to switch gears or move to Hawaii or dance around like an old person. At our next stop (we made it!) the driver announced that “this bus ain’t goin’ nowhere” and off we all filed. Janelle said that we were like bus refugees, because our new bus was overcrowded and they probably didn’t want us on there.
And that’s the story of today’s bus drama. Hopefully riding the bus will be more uneventful from a functionality point of view from now on. I appreciate crazy people on the bus4, they entertain me and will probably not stop anytime soon, but when the bus just doesn’t take us to where we want to go, then it’s serious bus drama!
1 in America
2 Unless it’s the weekend and after dark.
3 They don’t reach Ikea, Target, Discovery Park, or the Woodland Zoo easily though and these are all fun places I would like to go to but cannot.
4 One time two older gentlemen were smack-talking and working each other up to a fight, planning place and time, their voices getting louder with each threat. I thought they would just start fighting on the bus, but the driver made one of them get off. He then announced that Elvis had left the building. This is the best kind of bus drama.
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